I don't like you; & you don't like me,
but let's get this over with so i can go back to supressing my feelings & playing Xbox.

I am lonely & I don't know what I want anymore.
I really wish I hadn't broken up with Dervla,
at least not when and how I did.
I was a total idiot there, I don't know what happened to my judgement.
She never did anything wrong, & never made me sad or angry.
I really fucked that one up.

I didn't make the most of my time at School either, I could have accomplished so much more,
and made more true friends than i ended up leaving the place with.
I didn't take chances with people when the opportunities presented themselves,
I just sat and complained and made excuses rather than making a little effort to better my situation.

I've neglected so many friends also, this year especially. I've not made the efforts I used to make,
& friendships that were the foundation of my social life for months & even years have faded because I didn't bother to make effort (again).

I've never questioned my judgement in the past, I've only done it in my solitude this Summer & it's kept me up at night.
I know regrets will get you nowhere, but I can't get them to go away, I guess all I can do is let it strengthen me in future experiences so that I don't make the same silly mistakes again, with other people, relationships & opportunities.

Sorry for anyone who read through this, it was more for me than anything else

Tags: effort
Current Location: Maghera.
Current Mood: worried
Current Music: The Shins - New Slang

ABC...it's easy 123.

(:

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: The Clash - Lovers Rock

HELLO NURSE!

& when i say 'nurse' i mean, 'university'
UCAS says i got in,
can't wait to get my results now.
(:

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Reuben - Cities on Fire

"i don't wanna die,
don't expect me to die,
what's joy without the tears filling our eyes?
memories of a perfect time....
we dream of nothing, or so we say.
we dream of discovering a perfect trail
to the answers that will seal our pale-faces.
that can't happen now it's flickering out,
will we meet again? i hope somehow;
even if we pass you on your way out."
Biffy Clyro - The Atrocity

i'm an idiot.

Current Location: Infinity Land.
Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: Infinity Land also.

guess where everyone on pearse's friends list is going on the 4th of October;
http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=7546983928
job done.

Current Location: Maghera.
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: The Futureheads - Radio Heart

it is only because i like you
you are everything i wish i could be
maybe if i'm like you;
baby would you like me?

Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: Reuben

"they say you don't have a problem
until you start doing it alone
they say you don't have a problem
until you start bringing it home
they say you don't have a problem
until you start sleeping alone..."
the hold steady - you can make him like you

i had a good night, and i had a good one last night; and the night before that.
but i am lonely, and my god i'm confused.
x

Current Location: maghera.
Current Mood: weird
Current Music: my buzzing ears.

would it be so hard for you to give me a chance?

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Ash - Girl From Mars

You know what I am?
Happy with my life (:

It's the middle of my A-Levels, 4 down 4 to go, and I am not even feeling any stress;
it's been straightforward so far, nothing I can't handle and after tomorrow I have TEN full days
in which to revise my Biology, so I'll manage fine with Biology too if I keep up my current work-rate.

I am badly looking forward to this summer, I don't have that much planned...just looking forward to seeing a few people again.

Oppenheimer's new album came out today, should be getting it soon, so I'm looking forward to it, I heard them preview like 5 of the tracks on Electric Mainline and it sounds like they've moved in a positive direction.

This has been my first post in a while, there's not been a lot to report really, but I've been in good form recently.

Thanks life ^.^

Niall. x

Tags: exams, summer
Current Location: Maghera.
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: Paul Simon - Learn How To Fall

 "Here we go again, infatuation touches me
just when I thought that it would end.
Oh but then again, it seems much more than that
but I'm not sure exactly what you're thinking..."
Green Day - Going to Pasalacqua

God oh, playing the single game can be confusing at the best of times.

Current Location: Maghera.
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Green Day - Paper Lanterns